not in the 'pines anymore

ok, so the previous post probably makes no sense without this little piece of info. so i have been medically evacuated from the philippines. i had a little accident on april 23, and herniated 2 disks in my lower back. so i was in the hospital in the philippines for about a month, laying in traction. i finally was cleared for flight home on march 15, which was exciting, because in my condition i needed to lie down for the flight, so they bought me a world business class ticket. for anyone who has never been in world business class, it's amazing. they greet you by name, take your food and wine order from a menu, serve you with linens and real dishes. i got slippers for my cold tootsies, and a toiletries kit, so i could brush my teeth and comb my hair. i mean, it's business class, you're not allowed to be stinky or unkempt. so i layed back in my 180 degree reclining seat, watched my own personal dvd system, ate delicous food and wine, and just felt fabulous for the next 17 hours of flying. so now i'm home and talking to doctors that speak english and can explain what is happening. i have 45 days to make a full recovery, and i can go back. if not, i get medically seperated from peace corp, and do 1 of 2 things. 1--stay here in the states, get a job, take some classes - or - 2-- appeal and reaply for reinstatement and go back to my little hutt in the philippines. not quite sure how it's going to play out yet. i don't have any closure on my situation in the philippines, i never got to say goodbye to my community, or coworkers. i didn't even get to go back to my house to pack up my things, it was done for me -- and i'm missing alot of stuff i thought should have been packed up...hmmm... so i guess we'll see.

philippines, home, usa and all the space inbetween....

looking back on a place and time, i have such a different perspective than looking it straight in the face. i've only been home for a few days now, but hearing and reading all of the negative things i have written and said about my year + in the peace corp phillipines really makes me think. think about what i have accomplished, about what i have learned, and the person i have grown into. it seems when you are in a difficult situation, the tendancies are to focus on what is negative or frustrating, and overlooking all of the tiny little things that made a place in time so great. tiny things like my neighbor greeting me as i walked home every afternoon with a hearty "maayong hapon, diin ka naghalin?" -- good afternoon where have you been??? and her 15 year old smile and wave with the same excitement to see me every day.....and i still don't know her name...it's a hard one. and my same answer, "didto lang" -- just yander. or another neighbor inviting me to eat fish with him and his friends as they had their every afternoon drinks, beer mixed with rum. jeff, sher, igang, mak-mak, apol, and random others, and how it only took them 2 months to build up the courage to look me in the eyes, and another 2 months to actually unleash a "hello mam" -- and finally after a year we are making full sentences. although, we have to repeat them 2 or 3 times just to understand, we were making big strides. and my co-workers pointing out my zits and my size, well i guess there are a few things i won't miss!!!! i'm not really sure where all of this is going, but i just felt like i needed to focus on some of the good things, and some of the things that made me smile over the past year. and the amazing pcv's that have become like brothers and sisters to me. i wouldn't have made it a single day without them. so i guess it's not so bad afterall. it's funny how when removed from a situation, you are able to see the good. i am able to see the good, sucks it took so long.